Flashbacks working title
by scali
Summary: *Pg13 for future submissions* so its a co-written carby type, with carter angst, i'm rotten at summaries, please read blurb at top of pg1 too. *READ ME!*


Hello, welcome to the latest co-written fic from kaz and I. (the first one on fanfiction.net) This one is a response to a challange, for me to write romance fanfic - something i can't do, so i enlisted the help of kaz, whos pretty much written the whole thing - all credit to her.  
  
Disclaimer: much as we'd love to own the e.r mob, we don't, they are the property of nbc, etc, etc.  
Archive: yes, but let us know.  
  
Reviews are always welcome, but if you intend to flame, please don't be so cowardly as to not leave your name, thanks.  
  
Much happiness to y'all - the scali team.  
  
authors backgroundy bits for this fic: OK, set after lockdown, the whole carter and abby relationship is going swimmingly, however something is troubling Carter...  
  
  
  
  
And so it begins...  
  
Carter and Abby were sitting, drinking coffee in the lounge when Weaver appeared.  
  
'Abby, Carter, we've a school stabbing coming in, ETA 5 minutes, we're getting at least four.' she yelled.  
'We're off at 8' Carter interjected.  
'That means you're mine for another 7 minutes' Weaver replied before stalking out of the lounge.  
'hmn, schools, sounds like we'll be here a while' Abby commented as she stretched, it had been a long 20 hour shift and it was about to get longer.  
  
Out in the ambulance bay.   
  
'Carter, Susan, Haleh take the next bus, its the perpetrator, names Harrison, careful, latest reports are that he's semiconscious and could be still armed' Weaver yelled out, 'I'll join you guys in trauma one.'  
  
The bus had barely stopped when Doris, the regular paramedic jumped out. '30 year old male, names Harrison, crashed, asystily, got him back and watch it, we've already taken 3 blades off him, been trying to finish himself off. He's all yours.' she said, as she pushed the gurney through the double doors; 'tell Weaver that all other criticals are being diverted to Mercy.'  
  
As they pushed the gurney down the halls the patient began his last struggle, 'lidocaine on board.' someone said on the way.   
'On my count' muttered Weaver, it was apparent that their patient wasn't going to make it, they all knew it, but had to keep trying, it was their job, to save both the innocent and the guilty.   
Suddenly, with what was probably his last purposeful movement, Harrison seemed to lunge out at no one in particular, throwing a single six-inch blade across the room.  
Then his heart monitor crashed.  
'Asystily'  
'Starting compressions'  
'Charge Paddles to 300. Clear'  
'Carter clear'  
  
Dr. John Carter didn't move. He saw it all again, the movement of the knife acted like a rewind button.  
There was Sobricki and Lucy by his bedside.  
The darkened room.  
The pain, like a piercing shockwave, as the blade twisted into his back, then the coldness surrounding him, as blood, his blood, flowed round about him.  
Hitting the floor.   
Then Lucy lying opposite him on the cold tiles, bleeding slowly to death.   
And him knowing he could do nothing.  
  
'Carter clear'  
'Huh'  
Still Carter stood motionless, eyes glazed.  
'Carter' Weaver bellowed, 'Dr Carter step out, get out of here'  
John Carter turned, and with out a word of argument, left trauma one, fighting his demons with every step.  
Abby watched him go and as she turned back to their patient, it was apparent that all eyes where on her.  
'Abby go' urged Dr Susan Lewis, 'go'  
  
Abby found Carter in the lounge again, leaning against his locker, head bowed onto the cool metal.  
'John?' she questioned 'John, come on, lets get out of here' she said coaxingly.  
  
Carter merely turned and followed her out of the lounge through the two sets of double doors, the inner, which had been long since repaired from lockdown, swung behind them, closing the E.R off to them as they left. Still not a word was exchanged, as Abby sensed Carter didn't have the strength to make small talk.  
  
It wasn't until they entered their apartment that Carter actually said anything, a muttered 'thanks' as Abby queried him, if he would like a coffee. The air was tense, one of them would say something, or one of them would crack, Abby didn't know what was wrong and Carter didn't know if he should say.  
  
It was as Abby went hand him the coffee, that she noticed his face. Ashen.   
'John?'  
'I..I..it..it...I..saw it all again' he stammered  
'Its alright', she reassured him 'you don't need to say a thing.'  
  
And there they sat, Carter with his head in his hands, Abby with her arms wrapped around him, holding him and stroking his back, telling him that she was there for him, that they'd be ok, that everything was fine.  
They sat for an age, before Abby broke the silence.  
'John, why don't you go have a bath or something, unwind and calm down, you look like you need to switch off from work.'  
'Yeh. Sounds tempting'  
'Go on, you know you want to, theres even clean towels out' she smiled. 'I'll even make a fresh pot of coffee too' as she picked up the now cold cups.  
'Yeh, I will.' he grinned back. 'Thanks.'  
'Its only coffee.'   
'Not just that, everything, for being here.' he said as he turned to leave the room, leaving Abby standing smiling but she still was worried about him, that little niggling, underlying worry, that his flashbacks were playing like a ghost on his conscience  
  
As Abby leaned on the counter waiting for the pot to boil she realised that this simple action of making them coffee felt more intimate than the relationship she had endured with Luka, it dawned on her that they couldn't have lasted, that they were just a fall back to each other, a reassurance that there was someone there when they came home, must like Richard and their marriage. It wasn't what she felt for Carter, with Carter, it was something differant, something stronger, something still very new to her, she hadn't realised just how good it was, the way things were with Carter, it seemed beyond her contemplation.  
  
The whistle of the kettle pulled her from her thoughts as she turned the gas off and hunted around for mugs, each day, she was sure, that Carter changed the cupboards around once he'd finished the washing up; for she could never find anything.  
  
Just as she was returning to her daydreams she was interrupted by Carter calling out, she headed over to the bathroom, and stuck her head round the door.  
'You called' she mocked  
'Where's those clean towels you promised?'  
'Aw johnnie doesn't wanna use dirty towels, diddums'  
'Noo johnnie doesn't' he whined back, mocking her as she had him, the banter they were used to sharing.  
'Alright I'll go fetch them'   
'Love you' he yelled after her  
Sure, only when you get your own way' she replied  
'You know me so well' he laughed  
  
Abby reappeared with clean towels in the doorway.  
'You know, I might have joined you if this place wasn't such a mess' she said, indicating the pile of tangled clothes and bath mats scattered across the floor. 'It only takes another couple of seconds to use the hooks.'  
'Awwww, put it makes me feel so grown up to tidy up'  
Abby snorted, leaning on the door frame.  
'Anyways, I've got coffee to attend too' she grinned at the bemused Carter, then turned on her heel and left him to his bath in peace.  
  
Abby was sitting on the couch flicking channels and watching the coffee steam when Carter re-appeared. He sat cross-legged next to her, 'I'm a new man' he announced.   
She glanced aside at him.  
He was smiling, his hair damp and tangled. He had put on those battered jeans that made him look absolutely gorgeous and a heavy knit roll-neck jumper.  
She turned and smiled back at him, absolutely delicious, she thought.  
She offered him the coffee.  
He took her hand and kissed it.  
'I'll have to have this hand stuffed and framed' she laughed at him.  
Once they had drank the coffee, they sank into the couch together, Carter put his arm round her and Abby sank happily against him.  
He kissed the top of her head. 'I think we should have an early night'  
'Hmm' she muttered almost disagreeingly. She turned to look at his face, and saw his eyes shining. 'Oh, an early night sounds like a good idea.'   
Giving him a knowing look she unravelled herself from him and stood up, pulling him with her and along the hall towards the bedroom. 


End file.
